If someone hurts you once, your mind then continues to replay it many times and you continue to hurt yourself many times.
Every time you make a mistake, have a bad day, or experience a setback, the words of those who abused you come to your memory. Their critical words become your words and in your mind you start shaming you.
Shame is a persistent emotion, it can hang on long after you have escaped an emotionally abusive relationship.
Instead of continually shaming yourself, you need to forgive yourself, otherwise you will keep carrying your shame indefinitely and make it harder to start your life anew. You are born with amazing gifts, you are brilliant but when you constantly replay the abuse, you continue to act in harmful ways towards yourself and others.
Forgive those who attack you, insult you, belittle you or take you for granted. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to excuse the person who wronged you or invite them back into your life or trust them again. Forgiveness stops you from reliving the agony that isn’t worth your time.
Sit with yourself and bring self compassion for yourself, forgive yourself for allowing them to sit in your mind and hurt you.
Self compassion is sitting with yourself in silence and healing the hurt. This is the most important step to take to help yourself heal from the abuse and grow into a better version of yourself.
Consciously decide to address the hurt instead of suppressing it. This will make it easier for you to let it go.
It is because you are giving attention to the situation that happened so that you can understand the limitations of the person who wronged you without excusing their behavior.
You get to see the events from a better perspective and you gather wisdom from it. You also understand that the past cannot hurt you in this present moment unless you allow it to.
Your understanding helps you to channel the mental energy that constantly replays the event towards building a better plan and significantly helps to change and move forward.
Treat yourself with the same care, warmth and understanding that you would offer a dear friend during a difficult time.
The more compassionate you are towards yourself, the easier it becomes to stop the noisy judgmental mental chatter that hurts you. Your compassion towards yourself helps you to apply your wisdom, focus on learning new strategies that help you feel comforted and in control.
Blessings!
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