We have unconsciously developed an inner voice that constantly focuses on doubt, fear, and harsh judgment against ourselves.
The mind was created to take care of the physical body from harm, so it naturally scans for threats in the outer world to keep the body safe. This tendency can turn inward creating an inner voice.
Constant criticism and negative commands during childhood also add to this inner voice.
The negative inner voice then becomes a mistaken identity where the brain starts treating a temporary mistake as a permanent truth about you.
When you make your experiences as your fixed identity, you lock yourself in a cage.
Having thoughts and experiences are normal day to day activities for every person, it is important to not define yourself by the thoughts or the experiences.
When you are anxious, you can say ‘I am experiencing anxiety’ . You are then separating your identity from your state of mind at that time.
Instead if you say ‘ I am an anxious person’ you take the temporary feeling and lock yourself into a cage with it.
Linking your identity to the temporary feelings and thoughts creates guilt and shame which causes you to pull inward rather than solve the problem.
When you criticize yourself harshly, you lose motivation and confidence to move forward. You project your inner voice with all your interactions with the world outside and thus your interpersonal relationships also suffer.
Practice relieving yourself from the Negative Self-Talk:
It is important to wake up from this unconscious way of bullying yourself.
1. Become self aware, notice when the negative thought appears and name it to create a mental distance.
2. Question yourself. Slow down and take a moment to ask yourself if the thought is a proven fact or if it is a harsh opinion.
3. Be your own best friend. Shift your inner tone from a harsh bully to a supportive friend. Practice self compassion and kindness towards yourself.
4. Use a balanced statement when you talk with yourself. Instead of saying ‘ I ruined everything’, say, ‘that was a mistake but it can be fixed’. Replace harsh statements with kind alternatives and say them out loud to yourself.
Blessings!
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