NOURISHING OUR RELATIONSHIPS

A REMINDER TO SELF

NOURISHING OUR RELATIONSHIPS

Nourishing relationships is an important art of the human experience.
As parents, teachers, friends, managers, or leaders, we are in a position to comfort and heal people, but many times when people share their raw emotions we become uncomfortable and change the subject with a story we are comfortable with.

By doing this we are actually removing focus from the anguish of the hurt person and turning the attention towards ourselves unconsciously.
People want you to hear them, and acknowledge what they are going through, just listen to them without judgment instead of forcing your story on them. When emotions are validated, healing happens.

To bring healing we just need to listen to the person in pain instead of making the person listen to our story.
Give support to the person without changing the conversation.

When we create space for a person in pain to relive their stories, amazingly they also find a solution to their problem, they make peace with whatever issues they are facing.

We create this healing space by being good listeners.
Because of the busyness of life, many times we avoid listening to long conversations. We try to stop people in the middle of their sentences and start giving them ideas and solutions to end the conversation quickly. We get distracted easily and we often miss important information.

It is even worse when the conversation is from little children, we do not have patience to listen and we either ignore them or avoid the conversation by giving them something else. All these behaviors have led us to create more chaos and confusion in our relationships.

Good listening is applying conscious presence, being the space where the person can feel comfortable to talk from their heart.
It is the art of focusing completely on what the other person is saying and engaging with their ideas in a thoughtful way.
It is the art of consciously receiving what the person is saying and responding to them constructively when it is necessary.

To be good listeners, the practice of mindfulness is very important.
The crucial step is first listening to one’s own inner workings of mental and emotional processes.
These are some practices that I have found very helpful for healing our relationships with ourselves and nourishing our relationships with each other.

Setting aside some time and space and choosing to get into stillness at least for 15 minutes everyday is a great practice that helps us expand our consciousness. Just pay attention to the present moment, allow your thoughts without judgment.

Taking time to pause and consciously breathe one conscious breath many times during the day is an important practice that helps elevate one’s body and mind.

Place your hand on your heart and just take time to sit with yourself for a few minutes to notice your breath and notice your heart beat, this helps you to take a moment of relaxation even if your day is busy.

After your day is done, just sit and stare at a particular space, maybe a blank wall for a few minutes. It is like concentrating on nothing for a few minutes. It relieves stress because your thoughts drop away and your mind gets refreshed.

Take a pleasant walk in nature at least for 10 minutes everyday, you breathe well and you drop your busy thoughts, it is an antidote for stress.

These are just small, few minute exercises which anyone can do. So do anything and everything to relieve the stress of the busy life. Smile often, laugh a lot, play with a pet, paint or draw, learn meditation, be responsible for your own well being so that you will be able to help others in a better way.

Live the rest of your life as the best of your life.
Choose to lift yourself up and grow into the best version of yourself everyday.
When you uplift yourself, it is easier to be a good listener and a good guide.
Your relationship with yourself flourishes and your decision making skills get enhanced.
By this all your relationships with people, places or even things get nourished.
Blessings!
Premlatha Rajkumar

https://www.facebook.com/premlatha.rajkumar/